It was a beautiful afternoon in late August when the call came. The female voice on the other end of the phone sounded a bit hesitant, but asked if I was the pastor. She said that a member of my church (a church that I had planted just a few years earlier) referred her to me as someone she could confidentially talk with concerning a problem at her current church.
Please understand that unless there is a compelling need to do so, I refuse to talk negatively about any person, leader, or ministry. So, immediately all my pastoral defenses went up and my initial thought was to put an end to the conversation right there. However, I held my tongue and let her pour out her story.
It is a fact: if God calls you to plant a church, you will find that all kinds of people will come and “try you out”. They come for a number of reasons, having various needs and concerns, and sometimes with hidden agendas. Among those people, you will find some who are just unhappy with their present situation and others who have been seriously wounded by their previous church experience. As a pastoral leader, God calls you to exercise discernment and respond appropriately.
A Story
After I invited her to continue, Ruth (not her actual name*) proceeded to tell of her experiences at her current church which was in a distant town. I had known about this church and its pastor for some years and even met the pastor on several occasions. Over those years, I had heard unconfirmed stories of questionable situations there. This time I was hearing it first-hand.
Without going into details, Ruth’s story was not unlike the stories of countless others who have come through similar situations. Her story was one of initial joy at having found a vibrant church home for her family (her husband Fred is also a committed follower of Jesus) and then actively using her gifts in practical ministry. Eventually both she and her husband advanced into leadership positions. For several years things were moving happily along until they began seeing things in the ministry which made them uncomfortable. The pastor was becoming more dictatorial and less compassionate toward people in need. The church was always looking for and following the latest spiritual fad whether it was discipleship, spiritual warfare, the prophetic, etc.
When questions began to arise concerning leadership style, relational difficulties, and financial integrity, the pastor took a more defensive and secretive posture. Appealing to the scripture “touch not my anointed ones” (Psalm 105:15), he implied that those voicing concerns were just “rabble-rousers” and not truly spiritual. Among those raising such concerns were Ruth and Fred. The result being that they were increasingly ostracized from those in the church they considered dear friends. Relationships which were once warm and accepting had become cool and distant. It was as if a knife was piercing their heart. They were unwitting victims of “spiritual abuse”. There on that beautiful August day, I was being compelled by the Holy Spirit to shepherd them (and others like them) through a process toward healing and recovery.
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